My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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