i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
