its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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