so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
