i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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