Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
either way he was missing a nipple.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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