So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
