We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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