i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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