The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i think i just lost a toe
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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