I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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