he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
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He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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