His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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