I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
