I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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