Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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