So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
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Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
my god I love twenty year old dicks
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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