May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
