His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
