Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
