I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
