I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
