You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
