Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize