when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
