i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?