More tranny stories later!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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