I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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