I heard we made out
I puked a lego.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Help. Why am I so naked?
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