dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
