this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
