we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize