is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
