You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
