By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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