I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she peed on how many people?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
