had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
