He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize