She's JV to your varsity
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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