He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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