I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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