I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
