maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
