you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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