battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
