Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
