I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize