And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
