It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
