I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize