yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
