I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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