Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just invented taco cereal.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
