are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
