Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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