OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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